Send help. I'm stuck in biker hell.

**SOA SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH. IF YOU AREN'T PAST SEASON FOUR, SKIP IT**

No idea why I'm subjecting myself to the worst form of torture by re-watching Sons of Anarchy from the beginning, especially now that I've approached season 4. Remember that icky feeling I talked about when Jax cheats on Tara? I forgot about the episode where Opie finds out about the birth control and sleeps with the same porn star bitch as Jax. That's as close as we get to a Jax/Opie sandwich in the series, but now I'm angry with them both. And the part where Jax kisses Ima and we think they're going to hook up again, only he smashes her face into a mirror instead? It was so ugly that I wanted to look away. The guys in my MC series would never hit a woman for any reason. I think this was the first real glimpse of the monster Jax becomes by the end of the series. Just yuck. Then I had to re-live the whole mess with Juice being forced by that asshole FBI agent and trying to kill himself...it was just sickening to watch again. I'm ready to curl up into a ball and watch the first season on repeat.

When I'm not heavily immersed in the psychotic world of SAMCRO, I'm busy cleaning up the first part of Jawa's Angels MC (Beauty & Balls). Hopefully it'll be released later this month. When I chose the name of the title I knew it was a little goofy, but honestly it sounded like something Harley would say. So she does say it. In the book. And for anyone who hasn't read the Inferno Glory MC series, Jawa was the heroine's dad who died of cancer while she was in prison. And for anyone wondering, "Jawa" is the term for an Army Soldier who is stationed in a desert area, named after the desert-dwelling aliens of Star Wars. I'm throwing out a few teasers, one that explains Harley's club and one told from Ranger's POV. He was so much fun to write that I hope to continue his story throughout the entire Jawa's Angels MC series.

Other than torturing myself with some of the hardest episodes of Sons ever written and writing about my own MC, I'm working on a psychological thriller called The Missing Ones (cover reveal coming real soon). Last night I had a dream my daughter's boyfriend was in the story and I found out he was killing small children and eating them. SERIOUSLY. When do writers get a break from their own fucking heads? At this point I'm almost thankful for having active high schoolers and a farmer husband who needs me to run odd errands. And I'm finally understanding why authors are always associated with alcohol. Something has to quiet the demons.